I Still Love You
by alexz1jude
Summary: After the season 4 finale. Does Jude think she made the right choice? Purely Jommy, oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star.**

**Dedication: I'm dedicating this to all those fans who were disppointed by the finale.**

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**I Still Love You**

**Jude POV**

Have you ever thought that you were doing the right thing and then suddenly realized you just made a huge mistake? I left the man I love and everyone that I considered family. Now I keep wondering what the hell was going through my mind when I decided this. But of course I know the answer, I'm a rock star. Or at least that's what I'd like to consider myself as. But really a rock star was what I wanted before I won the Instant Star competition.

Before Instant Star I just wanted to be heard. I wanted everybody to hear the songs from me that came from my heart. Now I realized that the fame would be nothing without my one leading man beside me.

The one thing I never expected going into this was to fall in love. He was Tommy Quincy, Little Tommy Q of Boyz Attack. Who hasn't fallen in love with him? But the difference between me and these other girls? He fell back. We fell hard but something always managed to break us apart. Whether it was Tommy attempting to protect me or whatever else something always seemed to come between us.

And then he proposed. I said yes, of course. Nothing would be able to stop us. Marriage was a strong bond, one that I really couldn't doubt. The only thing was that I wasn't ready. I'm only eighteen and I backed away. I backed away from him, from my sister, from everything.

But the question that runs through my mind most was why had I left. The answer? Well everything seemed to overwhelming. I couldn't deal with the constant pressure of Tommy. We get together and break apart. I'd do anything for him. But I can't leave him. Look at me now, I still can't leave him as peacefully as I wished I could.

I just can't leave him, I thought standing up from my seat in the airplane. It was the plane taking me to London. The place I thought I could go without Tommy. What the hell was I thinking? I quickly grabbed my luggage from the overhead compartment. The plane was going to take off in 20 minutes, they should let me off. They would let me off.

"Ms. Harrison, is there a problem?" A stewardess asked, standing in my way.

"I need to get off of the plane. I, uh, have urgent business to attend to." I thought quick while not really thinking at all.

"Ms. Harrison, you can't get off of the plane until it gets to London and lands." She said. I looked down at her nametag, which said Jenna.

"Look Jenna, I know it's possible to get off of the plane. We aren't exactly in the air yet." I said.

"Well we wouldn't normally do this, but you aren't normally on our flights. I'll talk to the captain." She left me standing there as she went to the cockpit.

Maybe fame wasn't so bad, when you knew how to use it. Of course it wasn't bad. This was just my decision and nothing would stand in my way.

She came back a moment later, "Ms. Harrison the captain is opening the doors. But, erm, before you go...can I have an autograph?" She held out a pen and a piece of paper, which I was guessing that she got when she left.

"Sure," I smiled. No one had to know what a real rush I was in. And there wasn't exactly anything to do while I waited for the doors to open.

Don't get me wrong, I was glad to have my fans. I was just really anxious to get to Tommy.

After I had signed a few autographs the doors were opened. I hurried out of them and through the airport. Surprisingly enough, no one came up to me. Well people stared, many stared but I don't think that anyone could have caught up to me.

It was only when I was out of the doors of the airport that I realized I didn't have a car. The limo I'd taken here was long gone by now. I'd have to take a cab. Having to wait here for someone, Sadie, to come pick me up wouldn't do anything for me.

There wasn't many people in the line for the cabs. I kept my mouth shut and no one recognized me. For once I was happy for that.

Finally, it was my turn to get a cab. It sorta shocked me when the cab driver didn't ask me questions. Maybe people just got the impression that I didn't want anyone to ask me any questions. Or maybe they just thought they were mistaken for seeing me since I was supposed to be on a plane to London right about now.

The cab ride gave me way to much time to think, something I hadn't been doing a lot of.

I didn't regret it. I knew what I wanted. I wanted Tommy and I'd go to the end of the universe for him. While I wasn't ready for marriage, I wanted him as mine. I could never find a man to love me half as much as Tommy loves me. I loved him too much to leave him.

No one could replace him. And a life in London was sure to be lonely without him.

The cab ride actually wasn't that long. We were there within an hour. I paid the cabdriver and rushed into G Major.

I was running/walking, whatever you wanna call it, to Studio when I heard the voice of my sister, Sadie.

"Jude?" Sadie asked, "Did you forget that you're supposed to be on a plane to London right about now?"

"Where's Tommy?" I demanded.

"Jude, plane?" She repeated.

"Tommy?" I asked.

"I should have known you couldn't leave without him. You really do choose each other every time. He should be on his way to the airport by now. He's on his way to Thailand." She answered.

"Thanks." I told her before running back out. Only then did I realize I didn't have a car.

I ran back inside and Sadie was still right where I left her. "Sades, keys?" I asked.

She sighed, "Fine." Sadie took the keys out of her purse and threw them at me.

"Remind me to ask you later why you're letting me go!" I shouted, running out of G Major once again.

I ran to Sadie's car and threw my luggage in the back seat. I wouldn't need it, it would only slow me down.

The silence in the car was deafening. I had an hour car ride and it couldn't be this quiet.

I turned on the radio and immediately one of my songs was blaring from the speakers. I Still Love You. Not exactly the speed of a song that's normally played on the radio, but it was one of my favorites.

_I know rocks turn to sand_

_And hearts can change hands_

_And you're not to blame_

_When the sky fills with rain_

The whole song reminds me of the time I wrote it. When Tommy had gone home and I could do nothing but follow him. I just couldn't live without the man. I couldn't even think about trying to live without him.

_But if we stay or walk away_

_There's one thing that's true_

_I still love you_

_I still love you_

This song only made me think of my memories of Tommy.

_But if we stay or walk away_

_There's one thing that's true_

_I still love you_

My sixteenth birthday.

_I still love you_

In D's office right after we finished recording my second album.

_I still love you_

In that church.

_I still love you_

My eighteenth birthday.

_I still love you_

Our first time.

_I still love you_

Just yesterday when he asked me to marry him. And everything in between.

You'd think that with the way my thoughts were headed it'd make the ride to the airport even longer. It didn't though. Before I knew it I was parked and headed towards the doors of the airport.

I saw the oh so familiar blue Viper and rushed even more. I hurried to the front desk knowing I'd have to get a ticket and get on the actual flight.

"I need to be on the flight to Thailand that leaves in," I looked at the board, "30 minutes."

"Ms. Harrison, I'll check for you." I looked at the girl's name tag. It said Mirela.

"Thanks Mirela." I said.

"You're lucky. Someone flaked out last minute. We have one ticket available and the gate closes in 10 minutes. Think you can make it?" She asked.

"Yes." I said, nodding. She handed me the tickets and I started running again. I could have sworn I heard her laughing but I ignored it. I had a much more important task right now.

I made it to the gate with only 2 minutes to spare. I was out of breath but was quickly allowed on the plane.

I browsed through the seats in the cabin. My ticket wasn't first class since I'd gotten it so late and I prayed that his ticket wasn't in first class. He couldn't have had that much time to find a seat in first class.

I didn't see Tommy until I sat down at my seat. He had the seat next to mine. His dead was down so he didn't see I was there.

"I couldn't do it." I whispered. His head snapped up.

"Jude." His eyes became softer immediately.

"I couldn't leave on that plane to London. I just sorta couldn't help but think I was making a mistake. I can't leave you Tommy. While I may not be ready to be married I need you by my side."

"You know I'm always here, girl." He said and I smiled at him.

"_But if we stay or walk away/There's one thing that's true/I still love you_." I sang.

"But you can't walk away." He said.

"Nope." I smiled at him, "By the way, I thought you were chained to G Major..." I trailed off.

"With all my years with Darius you don't think I know how to handle him?" He asked, "Have some faith," he put his hand to his heart acting hurt.

"Oh believe me, I do." I smiled at him.

"Good. I love you, girl." He told me.

"I love you too." I said before pulling him to me and kissing him.

"So are you ready for this 20 hour flight?" He asked once we pulled away.

"You bet." I smiled at him again.

I was ready for almost anything with Tommy. Because the truth was that I loved him and I couldn't possibly leave him. He was mine.

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**Yes so I was truly disappointed with the finale, much like others were too. So I decided to write what I wish had happened afterwards. Obviously I didn't tie up the loose ends but I needed that Jommy fix. I hoped you like it. Review.**


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